I'm sitting drinking tea in the stately surroundings of the Lyrath Hotel in Kilkenny with David Ellis. Having discussed stress techniques and meditation, we turn the talk for a moment to the importance of being who you truly are.

Here are David's thoughts ...

Be Truly Who You Are

Be truly who you are and live your life in congruency with who you are.

For me, I've got to challenge, I've got to consider and I've got to be open to the possibility of things.

There’s a wall behind you. Is it really there?

I've got to be open to the possibility that it isn't really there. Or I can just take the view that you’re sitting there and there is a wall behind you.

But that would be a very closed mind.

My belief is that there is a wall there and it’s made up of the same atoms that you’re made of but your atoms are firing at a very different frequency and have a different shape, the wall’s firing at a different frequency and it has a different shape.

Life Is Everywhere

Every single thing on the planet is alive.

It’s only a matter of how the cells and the neurons are actually put together and the frequency through which they exist.

trulyIf you look at the door (we are in the Lyrath, an old stately home hotel) in particular those doors. Those doors, at one stage, were trees and there’s very little work done to the tree to create that particular door. In some cases humans will have added chemicals and more to create doors but not that particular door. There’s very little work gone in to use anything but the timber that was used. It used to be alive… it’s still alive. It’s just re-arranged a different way.

That then comes back to our thought process, our positive thinking and our negative thinking and do we create our own universe. In my belief, yes we do, so do we create the positive energy and the flow of abundance and everything else to us or do we create all of the stuff that happens in our lives?

The answer is that we create both.

If we can allow ourselves the luxury of contemplation and thinking about possibilities. So you were ill Eileen. I was for a few years.

Did you wake up two years ago and say “Oh I’m going to get ill”? No, I most definitely didn't!

So where did it come from? It had to come from somewhere. There is a possibility that five, years or six years ago you, in the back of your mind were thinking 'mmm things are just too fecking good, I’m gonna get sick.' And so you created a wave out there that things are just too good at the moment so I’m going to get sick and you create that thought process.

Why would you consciously create that?

People in general, would have the belief that things are just too good at the moment which comes down to your self-esteem, self- worth and how you view yourself.

I have struggled endlessly with trying to explain to professionals and lay people alike that the most important thing to deal with in any psychology, any counselling is our self-worth and self-esteem. That is number one.

If we love ourselves and we take care of ourselves by REALLY loving ourselves then everything else works, everything else falls into place.

If we don’t love ourselves then how do we expect somebody to love you?

trulyHere’s the really interesting thing. 90% of people don’t truly love themselves but they expect people to love them. Because they have an entitlement or an expectation of being loved. The universe then will provide them with somebody to love them. And then we wonder why all the relationships are fraught with all of the issues and problems that we have because we cause rows to challenge subconsciously why somebody loves you when you don’t love yourself. You consciously then start to create problems to fulfil the self-fulfilling prophecy that I can’t be loved because I don’t truly love myself.

Do You Love Yourself ?

Or I hate myself so much that I have the conscious and subconscious mind battling away so the conscious mind has gathered up everything you have ever done. The conscious mind is a trickster, so , when you were a child, for example, somebody might have actually said to you ‘don’t know why you are so happy, look at you, stupid girl’ and just that piece alone may slip into the subconscious and because it’s not congruent with the subconscious, the subconscious keeps sending it back up to be replayed and you look in the mirror and even without anything being said all you are CONCIOUS about is ‘why the hell am I so happy’ . Eventually the universe goes, do you know what, we are not getting through here, so let’s put her on her back.

How can you remedy your lack of self-worth?

It’s almost impossible to do it yourself.

There’s a great new therapy called CBT.  Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which is designed in such a way to challenge how you think. So you may look in the mirror and think you are fat and ugly. Therefore it challenges you to think a different way. To come up with a different solution.

It has proved to be incredibly powerful.

There are many other ways too. We can discuss this in detail at a later date.

- Eileen McCabe listening to the thoughts of David Ellis